You can write a book on the unintentional homoeroticism in sports, but I’m not going to do that here. You can also write a book about heterosexual white men and their fascination with the myth of black male sexuality and how it applies to sports. This myth that their ancestors created to dehumanize black men is the same one they now harbor an envious contempt for.
“So what they have large penises and sleep with white women, they’re stupid and all they can do is dunk a basketball! Not to mention most of them are thugs anyway.”
It’s that infamous Black Buck stereotype that has straight white men almost salivating over Dwight Howard’s physique while they wonder what lies beneath. It starts out lovingly, but the minute Dwight does something untoward the hatred comes flying out. Like I said, you could write a book, but I won’t. I’ll just try to get it done with a few hundred words. Oh, and don’t let this race stuff bother you. Of course not all white guys think like this and not surprisingly some black men think this same way. They too have fallen for the myth and may wonder why they do not possess what the universe is supposed to endow all black men with. Why do you think many young black men overcompensate? They have to add that layer of swagger to obscure matters. Yeah, I’m exposing this. What are you gonna do? Chop me up and feed me to the poor! Sorry, just watched The Departed. All right, enough meandering, just come inside already.
HOT MAN ON MAN ACTION
Before the retirement debacles sports fans and sports media alike could not and would not stop gushing over Mr. Favre. But when he started to behave like millions of other humans do they turned their backs. Why do heterosexual men act like jilted lovers when it comes to their sports heroes? It’s kind of gay.
It seems that in the surreal world of professional sports it’s okay for a man to ogle another as long as he does so in a manner that is not overtly sexual. But what’s not overtly sexual about this:
They may be talking about how his physique and how it will help him play the game, but I wonder what’s going through their heads when they reference the different parts of his body and how well he moves. Probably a little of that sexual envy I spoke of earlier. Look, I’m not trying to “gay up” the game guys. It’s already there. I’m just exposing the hypocrisy at work. Also, the dynamic at work here evolved from this:
Not comparing the two outright, one is like fire, the other water, but just like everything else dynamics evolve too. It also explains why the SEC dominates college football. They just know how to pick ‘em down there.
THAT NAME’S GOT MY DADDY’S BLOOD ON IT!
Now this one is fascinating. A surname means everything to a man. So much pride, blood, sweat and tears drip from every last letter. It is what they are reduced to when they joined armed services or play sports. Their unique first names are thrown out the door in favor of their more common last names that they share with relatives and non-relatives alike.
When a man gets married his wife takes on his last name, they have a few kids and it his name you see on the doormat. Now if this name means so much to them why are they so quick to celebrate another man’s name? And it’s not just the jersey on their back, they go to games to see this man and root him on just like cheerleaders sans pom poms and short skirts of course. They even defend him against detractors with great passion. Just listen to sports talk radio. It’s the heterosexual male equivalent to gossip rags. Now I am not judging these guys for this. Frankly, I find it wonderful. I just wish your average fan was more aware of the earth-shattering irony present when they make ridiculous homophobic remarks.
Have fun, but let’s keep it civil. It’s all love.
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