So, as some of you know, I spent a year in the US in 08/09, and it was great. I had many experiences, made a ton of new friends and I just grew older and “wiser”, if I can say it that way.
I realised that just yesterday, when I read a letter. A letter written by me to myself, one year ago, before I did my exchange year. I had to write down my fears and my hopes, my current problems and what makes me happy, my most important friends and wishes. And now, after a year, I got that letter and I read it, yesterday evening, late at night.
And it was most interesting
I noticed, how much I really changed. I never thoughed and nobody else noticed that I changed. At least I think so. But I read in that letter many things, that are different to me now.
For example I just noticed, how childish I wrote that letter. Just my style of writing, the way how I said things, was kinda childish. When I read it, I felt like, at that time, I was immature and too humouros. I hope you know what I mean. I was just too laid back when I talked about emotions and stuff like that. Just childish.
Then there were values, that were important to me at that time, but are not as much anymore. A year ago, grades in school were very important to me, as I think too important. Now I still care about my grades and I will still do my best to get good grades, but there is other things that I want and that make me happy, such as just relaxation, hanging out with friends and doing any kinds of fun stuff. Of course also a year ago I had fun when doing that, but I didn’t mention it in the letter, which shows how I grew up in my values, that grades are not the most important thing, not at all.
But there is also some similarities, like my wishes. I still want to do the same job one day and I still have similar “emotional/relationship” problems. And I still hope that this problem will solve some day, but now I handle thing like that more mature, with more thoughts and less panic.
When I finished reading the letter, I had just a strange feeling: “This couldn’t have been me.” or just ” Weird”. It was just surprising for me to read that and see the differences. I just didn’t expect it, or at least I didn’t expect it to realize it when I read that letter. It was most interesting to read this “flash back / deja vu” kinda thing.
And then I wondered: Did I even change?
I think that I didn’t change that much during that year regarding the basics of my personality, but that I just notice, feel, sense things different now, that I have a differnt point of view, that I have different priorities and that I think more about some things. And less about other things.
So, yes, I did change. In a way.
And who knows If I’m not gonna change a little bit the next year?
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